gentle whispers

What a blessed weekend I have had! It was such a joy to be able to spend several days with the entire family. Starting out with a very slow ride home from BWI airport, Kristin and I had a great chance to catch up and reconnect. We shared stories, reflected on the present, and reminisced on the past. What a sweet time we had, even though it took us an extra hour or so to get home with all the labor day traffic. As we drove through our old stomping grounds, memories came flooding back. Its amazing how far we have come! But as we drove down the lane, with the open fields around us, the sweet smell of the country and the stars gleaming in the night sky, I felt it. You know, that sense of home. The feeling that the world is right, that life is good, that you are loved and protected and cared for. The feelings of old when life was simple and carefree. Even if it was just for the weekend, it was just what I needed. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful weekend. The farm was aglow with beauty as the yard was freshly mowed, the flowers in full bloom, and the fields freshly plowed. The cool breeze was refreshing as the sun bathed the earth with its rays. Even the birds sang sweeter than ever. This feeling of home is something that I have longed for during my time away. I've always been a 'homebody.' I can remember growing up how hard it was for me to even spend one night away from home, with feelings of homesickness springing up at any moment. Its amazing how far I've come over the years. My spirit was longing to be home. While its true yearning is for heaven, the farm is my earthly home, with the presence of my parents, brother and sisters. And now, my little niece Ryleigh too! Being home brought up many emotions from the past four weeks. I was overwhelmed with love and the presence of family. Sometimes, the best medicine is just being home. I praise God for my family and for the beautiful earthly place we can call home together.

On Saturday, Kristin and I had the privilege of spending time with our grandparents. I was once again overwhelmed with the the goodness of the Lord in how He blessed us with such amazing Godly examples. I left feeling loved, supported, and encouraged in the journey. Pop Ehst never ceases to amaze me as He is more in love with Jesus that ever. The scriptures are so alive to him and he continues to use them to speak life into those he comes in contact with. His encouragement to strive for holiness....to stay in the presence of the father......good stufff pop!

Sunday morning I decided to stay home from church. Instead I went outside to spend time with Jesus. It was yet again another beautiful day. I found my way out to pond, where I nestled in to a hammock, by the pond's waterfall, the running creak, crickets singing, and the cool breeze blowing. It was just about perfect. God was everywhere! And so I just laid still, soaking in His presence. After a while, I began to hear the sweet whispers of the father. After many questions of Lord, what is it that you have for me? Whats next? What do I do after the 13 weeks are up? I heard,Melissa, "Just be present where you are, for where you are, I am.' Here I was, finally in the new place that I had longed to be, and I was already searching for the next thing. I question what my purpose is here and now. I will confess, I have had many expectations for this time, and a pressure on myself to do something great with my time. Its almost like I was saying, Well Lord, if I have to be single, I might as well do something grand and adventurous and life changing with my time. But in those moments, I heard the gentle whispers of the father calling me to just be present and be me. God is in the small things....in the everyday comings and goings. Its in the way we love others, the way we bless others at work, in our simple interactions, in our hello's to a stranger.......there's no pressure melissa! No pressure to be or become someone great. Just be who you are and follow my lead, says the father.

So that's what I will do. I will be Melissa in Gaithersburg MD. I will be Melissa at Shady Grove. I will be Melissa at the apartment complex. I will just be! And wil I am being, I will discover more about who I am. I want to take risks. I want to explore. I want to pursue others. I want to love more deeply. I want to share joy. I want to give freely. I want to be the hands of Jesus.

My heart feels as though its being drawn back home to Lancaster. I do feel connected there. I do feel life there. And if its Lancaster that I come home to in 2 months, then I will be fully present there too! No more Dixie cups with little bits of water. I want a well spring!

Thank you God for the gift of whispers. I pray that my ears will always be open to hear your sweet voice.