come and rest

So it just hit me one evening as I drove into the work. Pulling into the parking lot, I looked ahead and saw the hospital's name on the side of the hospital" "Shady Grove Adventist Hospital." The words shady grove hit me hard. As I've been journaling and reflecting over the past weeks, its become obvious that this place and time has been filled with moment of revelation as I'm stepping into more of who I am. As I read those words, I felt this confirmation in my spirit that the Lord was calling me to come rest with Him along the shady grove. Ive had this image for weeks now of wanting to go out into a field, dance around in a beautiful dress, only to come to rest under a tree and just sit and be in the presence of the father. I almost feel like this time is just that! More and more moments are present where I find myself overcome with emotion of thanksgiving, love and appreciation for the Father. While I still don't get Him all the time, I simply love Him. I'm learning more and more how to say thanks without needing to ask for more. I'm learning how to ask forgiveness for the times when I've made decisions or choices in life to see if that would get me what I want. How selfish and self centered I was becoming. But if Jesus could love me through all that and more, how could I not love Him?

The last two days Ive been enjoying time with Ryleigh. Yesterday, we hit the mall for a play date over lunch. They have an adorable play area that she goes crazy at! Then a little chick-fillet before we came home. Last night I was blessed to be able to connect with some new friends from AXIS, the young adult group I've started attending. We watched the Redskins/Eagles game, with me being the lone Eagles fan. It was a sweet reminder of the Lord's provision. Today was another day with Ryleigh on another AMAZING day. Its absolutely gorgeous right now. So we hit the road for another play date at Burke Lake park. This area has awesome recreation parks. We walked by the lake, through the woods, and spent quite a bit of time at the playground. What a joy she is in my life! Its been an amazing gift to see her grow up before my eyes.

Its amazing.....these messages continue to come to me daily. And each one serves a specific purpose in this season of life. I continue to seek direction for my life on what it is the Lord has for me as this time in terms of job. Do I simply go back home to do nursing just because Ive done it for the last 5 years? I do love what I do, but still sense there's something more. So as I seek out more on desire and calling, here's yet another word from my email devotion. So I thought Id share. Enjoy!

The Clue09/16/2007
And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. U2 There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. This secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves. It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be. Isn’t there a life you have been searching for all your days? You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether. But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that cries out for the life we prize. It is elusive, to be sure. It seems to come and go at will. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existence. We all share the same dilemma - we long for life and we’re not sure where to find it. We wonder if we ever do find it, can we make it last? The longing for life within us seems incongruent with the life we find around us. What is available seems at times close to what we want, but never quite a fit. We must journey to find the life we prize. And the guide we have been given is the desire set deep within, the desire we often overlook, or mistake for something else or even choose to ignore. The greatest human tragedy is simply to give up the search. There is nothing of greater importance than the life of our deep heart. To lose heart is to lose everything. And if we are to bring our hearts along in our life’s journey, we simply must not, we cannot abandon this desire. And so Gerald May writes, There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake…Our true identity, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire. The clue as to who we really are and why we are here comes to us through our heart’s desire.