Surrender

It was a wonderful day. Monica, Amy and I spent the day shopping and catching a movie in Silverthorne while the others skied the slopes. After a great dinner at the Dam Brewery, we headed back to winter park. The snow was falling and the moon shining bright as the mountains stretched all around us. I was again reminded of God's presence, his goodness in allowing me this time away. I am continually more and more aware of the good gifts of my Father.

As we shared with one another about life, about our frustrations and doubts, and our walks with Christ, I felt that stirring again in my spirit. That thing that wont go away...... That desire to want to serve and bless and love on babies. And then as soon as I entertain the thought, the fear sets in. Do I know what it means to surrender? Can I even grasp the enormity of what could be? Is this the right time? Am I ready to lay my self down? Am I willing to truly carry the cross? I felt the knots, the tension rise in me. I felt the battle. But then the words came out. I surrender! I'm willing Lord. I'm done trying to protect myself. You are worth it. I want you to be worth it!

So Lord, open doors. Lead me. Take me by the hand and show me where to go. Prepare my heart. Soften it. Make it more like yours.

I want adventure. I want passion. I want joy. I want peace. I want life! I want you!