chemo and coffee

Well today was my first day of work in the past 2 1/2 months. And to top that, it is in a field of nursing that I've never experienced. No longer am I living amidst laboring moms and crying newborns. No longer will I wake at 4pm and go to bed at 8am. No longer will I be sleep deprived at church or miss a holiday gathering. I feel like Im growing up!

Waking up this morning, I was filled with much excitement, anticpation, nervousness and a little fear. Its as if I was going to school for the very first time. What to expect? Will they like me? Will I be happy hear? After an official clock in and a quick tour, I was thrown into the fast pace world of oncology nursing. I watched as the patients slowly filtered in to the chemo treatment room. It was obvious that this was not their first time. They each selected a chair, grabbed a cup of coffee and settled in for what could be their entire morning. Some came alone. But others came with their spouse or a friend. You could sense some anxiety on their part, and definately some weariness. The nurses made their way in total teamwork fasion from patient to patient....starting IV's, mixing the drugs that would work hard to kill the cancer within, premedicate to avoid the nasty chemo effects like nausea and vomitting, and then patrol the room making sure that their were no adverse reactions. The nurses worked together like a well oiled machine. I love the sense of teamwork and togetherness that was there. I found myself excited to work with these women.

But throughout the day, I faced a variety of thoughts. "Give me my babies back!" "What am I doing here?" "How long will I feel this dumb?" "Well, it can work." "Learning is kind of fun again." "Wow, the opportunities are endless.'"

Come 4pm, I was ready to go home and loving the fact that I actually could! My first day as an oncology nurse was under my belt. And now.....let the learning begin!