whirlwinds of change

Its hard to believe its been almost 2 months since I've blogged. And so much has happened its hard to know where to start. So I'll simply say what I know, and that is that God is on the move. He's never stopped moving. Even when times were tough, or I doubted, or had my temper tantrums....he has promised to complete the work He started in me.

My time at Shady Grove finished up on May 16th. My heart was filled with mixed emotions, knowing that it was time to move on, but full of saddness at the thought of leaving my friends and coworkers. So much was gained from this experience. As a nurse, I gained much confidence and strength to branch out and experience something new and challenging. Ive gained much autonomy and have learned how to be confident in my skills. And Ive been reminded that labor and delivery is a passion of mine, one where I can use my gifts and abilities to bless, encourage and support such a life changing event in the life of a woman and her family.

The time away also provided me the much needed space and air to breathe once again. The healing that took place in my heart couldnt have happened had I stayed in the midst of the muck and the myre. I guess I shouldnt say that it 'couldn't ' have happened, because with God all things are possible. But God honored my need for a way out, and he took me to a place that provided so much for me, more then I could have ecer expected. He provided an amazing job, a great church community, a network of amazing new friends, and an opportunity to love and serve my brother and his amazing family. I have felt so alive at times, and wondered if I m ready to enter back into life back home. But as the time has gone on, I've felt a stirring in my spirit again to move back, to experience life in Lancaster as a new woman, and to live and serve out of my home again. The Lord has given me fresh ideas and visions of ways to serve with my time and resources. But as I prepare to move home, I am without a job. I feel that its important to remain open to whatever the Lord might have for me and to not jump into something just to have a job. I have no idea what He is going to do in my life and heart over the next two weeks. Thats right, Im going to South Africa!!!!

This has been another part of my dreams fulfilled. Africa has been on my heart for many years now, and its finally time. The Lord is taking me there to experience a new culture and to see evidence of what He is doing around the world. Im excited to serve and grow next to an amazing group of young adults. Its neat how over the past weeks He has been placing orphans on my heart. I just want to sweep them up in my arms, cuddle them, and let them know how loved they are.

So I find myself in a place of anxious anticipation. Not knowing has proven to be very challenging for me over the past years. But since this time away, ive gotten pretty comfortable with not knowing. Simply because I know the one who knows all things. I'm continuing on in the journey. And God continues to do a work in my life. I heard a song the other day that resonated so deep in my spirit.....rang so true with what Im feeling right now. By Avalon.....

Free, I long to be free
I long for the day I'll believe
That all you say you see in me is true
That's hard for me to do
It's hard for me to die to myself
Entrust my life to someone else
So come empty me out
I'm no good without You inside of me
Chorus:
Come and fill my heart with hope
Come and fill my life with love
Come and fill my soul with strengh to carry on
Because from here the climb is steep, the road is long
Come and fill my days with dreams
Empty me of all the empty things
That I hold ontoCome and fill my heart with you
I need you in my life
eed you like the air that I breath
You've become the very heart of me
And I, I can't believe my eyes
Can't believe the dream that I've found
Lord, your love has turned my world around
So come fill up my heart
'Till I'm like you are
So deep inside of me

Search me, Lord
Try my heart
Come and take me now and make me new
So that all of the world will see you
Overflow in my life!